Slowing Down
Some weeks ago my mother come to visit us and she brought her very old camera, a Konica Autoreflex TC. It is probably as old as I am. With it I inherited a 40mm 1.8 and some other lenses.
Also few days ago I met someone who helped me to overcome some of my problems in relating with people. He probably did not realize he boosted me a lot, showing me something that is completely normal for him.
Put these two things together, plus a Sunday out with my digital camera in my bag and the small film one in my hands and I can tell that I have overcome some of my worst fears: the fear of rejection!
Having a camera with the manual focus alone, with an exposimeter very hard to read, a focusing screen I am not entirely used to and a not properly bright day and you will understand what I did understand: if I had to shoot people moving around I would have trashed away the film. I was out with Fabiana and Petros but in the time they had some pretty good shots, I had my camera in my hands, without a single frame. It took me quite a while but then I realized that I had to move, so I decided that I would not have been happy if I had not collected at least three “NO” while asking people if I could have taken a portrait of them. So, for the first time after a long time, I started asking people. Believe me I should have been disappointed because I finished the film without a single rejection.
Clearly I could not download my photos as Fabiana did immediately after reaching home and I had to find a place where to develop my first film after more than 10 years of digital experience but after all the result is more than good. There is more than one reason and one thing behind this experience.
- I am a digital person. Waiting for the film development is slow and I usually like to see the results quite early
- Film does not come cheap! For this first roll I spent 5 pounds for the film, plus 15 for development and scan. A real theft!
- I like carrying around a camera that is really light. it is nice!
- My target is not to stop each and every interesting characters I met but knowing I can do it means I can choose what kind of shot to take.
- Using film makes you much more selective.
- Using the film camera pushed me to be more selective. It took more time to finish the roll and I had to overcome my limits.
Overall I am proud of what I have achieved with my first film after many years (It was an Ilford HP5+ 400 ISO if you want to know). It was not easy to focus manually while overcoming my fear of rejection: it was fun. I am shooting another film of 36 exposures right now and I am enjoying it, after it I do not know if I will really move on with film or if I will be happy with digital. Maybe the Konica with the film will be once in a while and it will be enjoyed!
What can I say about this shot? I like the grainy the 400 ISO gives, the focus is quite good and I like the character. He had not been the first I asked, so I was more relaxed. I was hit by I did not told him not to stop smoking, as he did to “pose” for the shot. Next time I will be still more at ease and I will get exactly what I want from my photos.
And the other 35? Well, they are quite good, not everyone is on focus and not everyone is as I wished they to be but to be honest if I have to take 36 sequential shots I have done lately, these stands probably amongst the best.
Ps: if you want to listen to a song that came into my mind while I was writing these words, try this one.
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